I lost my job yesterday. I saw it coming. I was mentally prepared. My husband was mentally prepared. But, when it happens, it still is a shock, no matter what. You go through elementary school and high school working hard to get into the right college in order to get the right career. Work on that track for 15+ years…then in one ten-minute meeting, it’s all done. I don’t want to sound overly dramatic, but that’s basically how it happened. I go into a “meeting” with a notebook, door is closed, a white folder is handed to me, and it’s all done.
I named my blog, Triple Threat Mommy because I do a lot more than being a Mommy:
- First and foremost, I am a Mommy to two beautiful girls
- A wife to an amazing man
- A career woman in a career that I enjoyed
- A grad school student to help further my along my career
- A friend – I do go out (once in a while) with my girlfriends to remind myself that I am also still me.
Now that Point #3 is gone, what does that mean? My career defined who I am; I spent more time at work than with my family (I am shaking my head as I just wrote that). So, now what?
I have to admit being told that “today is my last day” gave me a sense of relief. A big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I could focus on my family and on me. I could reassess and re-prioritize. I’ve been given the gift of time and now its up to me to see what I can do with it. One thing is for sure, making up for lost time with the girls is a BIG priority. I am going to bring them both to school in the mornings, pick them up after school, bring O to her after school activities, eat lunch with our little one S after she comes home from nursery school, and truly enjoy the spring vacation we have planned in two weeks. This will be the most exciting part: I won’t have to think about projects, work emails piling up, and the dreaded red-blinking-voicemail-light while I am on the beach. I can truly truly truly be present with my family.
Lao Tzu, a mystic philosopher, said In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don’t try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present.
As I am writing this, I think I can answer my own question. Losing a job can feel like your losing a limb, a part of yourself. But that’s only if you define yourself by your job. I have so many other things going on that help make me, me. I know that I’ll find other work – work that I will truly enjoy and will fit within my new life. For now, I’ll take Lao Tzu’s advise and with my family, I will be completely present.
And to finally answer my own question, yes, no matter what, I still am a Triple Threat Mommy.